[ honestly by this point she's a bit sick of that memory, because it's completely clear to her. she understands ... well. what was happening, even if not why. so that means she has to explain it.
and she's not sure she can, or that she wants to. ]
[ okay, look. izumo is all about pushing things under the carpet and ignoring things when they go terribly wrong but this is a different kind of some...thing? she doesn't know what to say in response.
... It's nothing I can easily explain. [ because she doesn't fully know herself, only that it will change things. and she wasn't able to do anything-- if she'd stopped worick from leaving, talked louder, made him look at her-- maybe things wouldn't have gone this far. ]
Sorry-- that's not something you should've had to see.
[ there's a bit of a pause as izumo gauges just what she wants to say. she kind of wants to have alex explain what happened but she's more than aware what it feels like to dig up painful memories like that again.
(multiple times already, perhaps?) because izumo has her own demons (that will be doxx'd soon), she'll let it settle there. she respects alex enough to allow her to not have to relive it again. ]
It's fine; it's not like you wanted to show me that...or really enjoyed it yourself.
[ she sighs, and rests her arms on the table in front of her. it's tinged with something a little like relief -- she's tired of unpicking things because this place keeps dragging them out into the open, when it's not just taking them wholesale from her mind entirely. ]
...
I sort of miss where all this place made us want to do was hug each other a lot.
I...kind of do as well. N, not that I hugged anyone.
[ it's actually quite sad that of all of the kinds of forms of physical affection that she experienced hugging was very low on that list of things. who will hug izumo?
well, regardless, izumo will take the moment to drop her guard and look away for a moment to take another look at what's around them. maybe they could get a snacc?? except. well. bubbles say otherwise. ]
[ YEAH. she.... alex knows nothing about izumo being more than your average teenage girl who has a boy she really likes, and it's really unfortunate that her memory is swiss cheese.
fortunately??? this. this is one of the things that she remembers. her expression darkens as she lets herself to remember herself. ]
That was.
[ and. she's not going to elaborate for the moment. ]
Everything else you've seen of him is just an act to fit in better. [ not that they weren't parts of him that were true..? maybe. ] An act where no one would suspect him of anything.
[ wouldn't it be clear? guess not, actually, but hmm. there are plenty of holes in her memory and only this really makes the most sense contextually that she can explain. ]
There's no quick or easy way to explain it, but he's kind of person that is fine to do the unsavory things if the right people tell him to.
[ much like what she did with alex's memory, she spared her to think much of it. she really doesn't want to share herself, especially after hearing about the twilights. ...but saying nothing isn't quite fair given their situation and izumo only offers the briefest of explanations. ]
Let's just say that labs and experiments are involved.
[ she will accept the hug even if she's just sitting there and taking it because it's awkward. obviously she had an idea that it would end up something like this but.
haha.
sometimes you hate labs, operating tables, and the works and people think you were desperate for another reason. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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and she's not sure she can, or that she wants to. ]
I...
[ mm. ] It's nothing. It's... [ something. it's definitely something. ]
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she could ignore it but— ]
It wasn't nothing.
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Sorry-- that's not something you should've had to see.
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(multiple times already, perhaps?) because izumo has her own demons (that will be doxx'd soon), she'll let it settle there. she respects alex enough to allow her to not have to relive it again. ]
It's fine; it's not like you wanted to show me that...or really enjoyed it yourself.
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...
I sort of miss where all this place made us want to do was hug each other a lot.
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[ it's actually quite sad that of all of the kinds of forms of physical affection that she experienced hugging was very low on that list of things. who will hug izumo?
well, regardless, izumo will take the moment to drop her guard and look away for a moment to take another look at what's around them. maybe they could get a snacc?? except. well. bubbles say otherwise. ]
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[ oh boy naru. none of what alex is seeing really makes sense to her but-- ]
...
Was that Shima, Izumo?
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fortunately??? this. this is one of the things that she remembers. her expression darkens as she lets herself to remember herself. ]
That was.
[ and. she's not going to elaborate for the moment. ]
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He seemed...
[ off.
or more like he'd seemed on that saturday they'd voted for him. less overly friendly and more... serious, in a disarming way. ]
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[ as as she's concerned, at least. ]
Everything else you've seen of him is just an act to fit in better. [ not that they weren't parts of him that were true..? maybe. ] An act where no one would suspect him of anything.
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...
But what was there to suspect him of? None of what I just saw has any real context, but... I understand if you don't want to talk about it.
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There's no quick or easy way to explain it, but he's kind of person that is fine to do the unsavory things if the right people tell him to.
So, thus the act.
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Do you remember anything from after that?
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Let's just say that labs and experiments are involved.
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[ hm. bad, actually. ]
... Did you make it out of there?
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....really sorry alex. ]
I'm still there.
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welp.
now's the time to round that table and hug a gal. ]
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haha.
sometimes you hate labs, operating tables, and the works and people think you were desperate for another reason. ]
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Do you want to go somewhere else? That isn't... y'know. Here.
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We can if you want. It doesn't matter to me.
[ you know, since she's...used to this sort of thing. ]
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THIS IS SO STUPID. for as smart as she is..... ]
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...
I'm worried about you, Izumo. We just saw one of your memories here, if it makes you uncomfortable then ... we can go, maybe take a walk or something?
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