IZUMO

[chanteuser]

izumo every trial

Comments

[sacredchants]

O, oh.

[ uh...um??? ]

I... I suppose we sort of fell into it, and we did hold hands. We...we've held them plenty.

[ she's just answering questions as they come to her since it's easiest??? ]

[chanteuser]

[ she looks delighted. ]

Good for both of you. It's... nice having someone around who has your back, isn't it?

[sacredchants]

It is. [ she smiles but then also looks down at the ground. ] I hope that I'll have his more than the other way around now. It always seems like he's taking care of me.

[ admittedly, her time here has sucked so? valid? but also :/ ]

[chanteuser]

...

You will. I thought the same way, a lot but... I guess things changed over these past couple of weeks. It's not any clearer, if you are helping. You just have to hope you are, and that they're getting something from it.

[sacredchants]

[ ...

hope and trust. two things she doesn't have in spades. ]

...I genuinely hope that's the case. I know how I can see and handle things can hurt him.

[chanteuser]

That's half the battle, I think.

[sacredchants]

So, I'm lead to believe, but I also know that there will be just parts of me that won't be able to avoid doing things that he won't like.

[ changing everything about who you are for just one person? hmm. no. what are relationships? this is hard. ]

[chanteuser]

That's why you communicate, though? No one's perfect, you're not gonna get by without stepping on each other's toes a bit along the way.

[ izumo you're

going to have to learn to use your words ]

[sacredchants]

I do communicate.

[ just fucking poorly. ]

...or, well, I'm not trying to hide things from him anymore.

[chanteuser]

... That's a good start?

[sacredchants]

[ LOOK THIS IS HARD? ]

What else am I supposed to do?

[chanteuser]

What you're doing! Just... more.

But everyone has some secrets, you know. You're allowed that.

[sacredchants]

M, more? Like how much more?

It's strange to just start saying things, isn't it?

[ please she is just??? doing her best. ]

[chanteuser]

Not always. I mean... if he was worried about something, would you want him to talk to you about it? Would you be mad if he kept it bottled up and didn't talk to you about it?

[sacredchants]

Of course I would—to both of those. What am I good for if he won't talk to me about things that trouble him?

[chanteuser]

So it's probably the same for him.

[ truth bomb. ]

[sacredchants]

I... I do tell him what's wrong though.

[ just not the whole picture of everything that's wrong. ]

[chanteuser]

As much as you'd want him to tell you?

[sacredchants]

[ ..... ]

No.

[chanteuser]

[ hm. ]

It's not easy, but... it is important. Even if you just work at it, bit by bit.

[sacredchants]

If...I said what I really wanted to say—it'd make him sad. I know it.

[chanteuser]

He might be sad you didn't trust him to tell him in the first place. I don't know, I can't make that call for you.

[sacredchants]

[ hmm.

seeing that alex has some (unfortunate) context for this. ]

It's...about the lab...and how I haven't left it.

[ rather, he doesn't know shit about her situation in that regards. ha ha?? ]

[chanteuser]

...

You don't think he'd want to help you? Context aside, if you just vanished and he couldn't do anything for you, I think that'd be worse.

[sacredchants]

The problem is that he would.

And I'll...consider mentioning it. With how bleak everything looks sometimes, the last thing he needs to think about is how even more limited time we have together.