[ he doesn't mind the hand - xie lian lets alex take it, and gives her a small, sad smile ]
...It is the same for me. I spoke with him early in the week, and... I tried to convince him it wasn't a good idea, but he wouldn't listen to me.
[ he sighs. ]
I am just... I'm glad, that I am still standing, if only for Brother Goat's sake. There are only two of us left, but...
[ well, xie lian doesn't really have to wish it, right?
he's suffered so much pain and death in his life, that he wishes he could've been the one who died, instead of someone else on his team. he could handle it. ]
... He was very insistent when we spoke about it. We... pre-warned Hansa and Emet-Selch, because it was always likely one of us might be killed this week just given how the numbers were working, but you just...
Always kind of hope it won't come to that.
[ stupid... stupid horse. ]
-- Two? I thought there were three of you? [ she'd been assuming but... oh yikes yes that's bad. ]
[ xie lian glances over at her, and that smile shifts into something a little more grateful - he gives alex's hand a little squeeze. ]
...thank you.
I have tried...and ultimately, I have failed, in protecting the people on my team. But if I can help protect that person, then... at least it's someone. Even if it's just one person, it counts for something.
I cannot tell you how often each week I have wished it would have been me, instead.
...I have no intentions of allowing such a thing to happen. [ he says, quietly. ] I haven't, now, for a little while - not since I found that our numbers were so low.
I just... [ he just wishes it was different.
he really does.
xie lian sighs. ] ...The suffering of others is something I am not unused to seeing, but I wish it didn't have to be that way.
So don't wish. Let's just do whatever we can to wrap this up for good, and get everyone back.
[ all the groups have done what they have to, right? by this point at least. so. it's just getting everyone back here and dealing with whatever is fucking over the realm. ]
En. [ and there's determination, in that little sound of agreement. in his voice, as he carries on. xie lian lifts his head back up, looking up at the sky overhead. ]
I want to see it through to the end. I will do everything in my power to ensure the safe stabilization of the Realm - the saving of our worlds - and, the revival of the participants that we lost.
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...It is the same for me. I spoke with him early in the week, and... I tried to convince him it wasn't a good idea, but he wouldn't listen to me.
[ he sighs. ]
I am just... I'm glad, that I am still standing, if only for Brother Goat's sake. There are only two of us left, but...
[ well, xie lian doesn't really have to wish it, right?
he's suffered so much pain and death in his life, that he wishes he could've been the one who died, instead of someone else on his team. he could handle it. ]
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Always kind of hope it won't come to that.
[ stupid... stupid horse. ]
-- Two? I thought there were three of you? [ she'd been assuming but... oh yikes yes that's bad. ]
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gives her the saddest smile.
haha! ]
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[ but that's answer enough, right? ]
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[ she sighs. ]
I know who the other goat is. Who's alive. [ she doesn't say anything else though. ] I'll keep an eye on them too.
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...thank you.
I have tried...and ultimately, I have failed, in protecting the people on my team. But if I can help protect that person, then... at least it's someone. Even if it's just one person, it counts for something.
I cannot tell you how often each week I have wished it would have been me, instead.
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... You can't think like that now. Especially not if it's just the two of you left.
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...I have no intentions of allowing such a thing to happen. [ he says, quietly. ] I haven't, now, for a little while - not since I found that our numbers were so low.
I just... [ he just wishes it was different.
he really does.
xie lian sighs. ] ...The suffering of others is something I am not unused to seeing, but I wish it didn't have to be that way.
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[ all the groups have done what they have to, right? by this point at least. so. it's just getting everyone back here and dealing with whatever is fucking over the realm. ]
We can't waste any of this.
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I want to see it through to the end. I will do everything in my power to ensure the safe stabilization of the Realm - the saving of our worlds - and, the revival of the participants that we lost.
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I don't think we can't do that now.