ELSA

[chanteuser]

Comments

[chanteuser]

[ she's having to unbundle herself to follow but she's here!!!! she's trying!!! ]

Elsa?

[showyourself]

[the unbundling definitely takes a minute, so elsa actually jumps at alex's voice, turning around suddenly—still holding her mug in both hands.



it is. clearly not empty.]

Alex!

You shouldn't be up and walking. I can refill your mug for you, if you want more...

[chanteuser]

[ no one can tell alex benedetto what to do. ]

No, it's not that.


You seemed really freaked out. [ like a trapped animal ] Are you okay?

[showyourself]

I'm fine.

[and nothing has faded. the closer alex gets, the more the air around them throbs with the emotionshare, elsa's anxiety suddenly strung tighter than a bow string, fear stretching across a constant, pulsing worry of... messing up. of ruining. of stepping wrong. it intensifies and jumps at being followed. it watches alex warily, as if trying to choose between fight or flight.

but as she feels alex's own emotions come into her, elsa gasps—and on the emotional front, it's like watching—or feeling—a neutron star collapse, sucking everything into a singularity, hyper-massive, and then

gone. even elsa's constant background radio static of anxiety is muted, nearly absent. outwardly, she waves a hand, shaking her head.]

Really. I'm fine.

Just... go sit down. I'll be back in just a moment.

[chanteuser]

[ that does not feel like a "fine". ]

Elsa... [ ... ] There's nothing wrong with asking. If this is about what we were talking about before, I'm the one who should've been more careful about what I was sharing.

I just didn't think, and shared something that wasn't really mine to share. That's my fault, not yours.

[showyourself]

[she's actively moving away from alex, to get out of the emotion sharing space—moving over to a sink in the corner without fully looking at her.]

It's not--Alex, it's fine. Really. [she downs the remains of the cup in a gulp, and starts industriously washing it. if alex gets any closer, and re-enters her emotionshare field (while subsequently trapping her in the kitchen corner), she'll definitely feel that, whatever emotions just got sat on and compressed? are leaking out, just a bit.]

[chanteuser]

[ ... alex lets elsa keep her distance, for... well. it seems like safety, on elsa's end. she doesn't push that. ]

No it's not. [ it's said softly though. ] I'm not going to push you, but... if you're worried you did something wrong, or I'm annoyed, I'm not, and you didn't.

[showyourself]

[elsa gives her a wary look—then looks back down at the mug, washing it... well, it's already clean, probably.

...

it's a long moment before she finally responds.]

Sorry.

I'm not great at...[she shakes her head, and tries again.] I don't... always know what to do when I... mess things up.

[chanteuser]

[ ... ]

[ hm ]

Sometimes I feel like I'm always messing up without even trying. Honestly, I wouldn't say that was a mess up on your part -- I was the one who said something I shouldn't have.

That was all.

[showyourself]

I shouldn't have pressed in the first place. I...

[she sighs.]

I want so badly to do what I can. To try and... get along with everyone. But sometimes, when I stumble, I just... regress.

[chanteuser]

It'd be nice if it was easy to get along and be helpful without bumps in the road. [ she's still keeping her distance, so elsa doesn't feel uncomfortable. ]

And you don't find out things if you don't ask, or be curious. I don't think people can be mad at you for asking things? Or, they shouldn't be.

[showyourself]

[...

she shakes her head again.]

I don't know. Sometimes, I don't worry about it at all. But other times, I can't help but feel... well, lost.

...I guess everyone is feeling that right now, though. I don't really have any reason to complain.

[chanteuser]

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with talking about it.

It’s not like we have a measurement system... “you must be this upset to be allowed to complain about it today”, or anything.

This is all a lot, and we’re all equipped to deal with it differently.

[showyourself]

That's true. [she'll concede that much—and then laughs, suddenly, wrly.]

I guess it just comes down to my people skills, then.

[chanteuser]

[ ain't that the truth, elsa. ]

At least that's something you can kinda learn with time. I don't think I'm great at dealing with people a lot of the time myself, but... my job's public facing so that's one way to force me to learn.

[showyourself]

My job used to be... public facing. But now it's more, um.

Remote.

[chanteuser]

Do you prefer it this way?

[showyourself]

[she nods.]

What I do now suits me more—a lot more, I think. I still have people I live among, but... it's a different kind of role.

This whole place has really thrown me for a loop.

[chanteuser]

It has done a great job of jarring us all out of whatever was happening beforehand, huh?

[ ... what was happening before she came here anyway? she'd been in the apartment and then...? ]

[showyourself]

Yeah. One moment, I was riding the Nokk, and the next... [she shrugs, hunching her shoulders up. who! knows!!]

...The fact that we've all adapted so quickly is... well, I guess it's very human, wouldn't you say?

[chanteuser]

The what? [ Nokk? ]

... Well, we have to be good for something, right? We might not be the strongest or smartest, but we adapt well.

[showyourself]

The Nokk. They're the physical embodiment of the elemental spirit of water. [pause;] In the shape of a horse.

...I guess if I can adapt to that, we can adapt to anything...

[chanteuser]

[ ... elsa that sure is a thing you just said. alex just sort of blinds. and nods.

water horse. ]

I'd say so.

[showyourself]

[it's hard to miss alex's expression—and she laughs a little.]

I know, I know. It sounds a little... strange. But it's really nice. [beat;] Once he's calmed down. [and not trying to actively DROWN her]

[chanteuser]

And when he hasn't calmed down...?