[ after the trial, she's just sat somewhere in the corner between rooms 10 and 11, arms folded on her knees and just staring at the carpet honestly. her little t-rex is grumbling somewhere to her left, but she's not really paying it much attention. ]
[ she looks up after a moment. she feels tired as all heck, but... this can’t really even compare. ]
... Hey.
[ after a moment she pushes herself up to her feet, and watches as the little t-rex runs over to scramble over then. ]
... [ “are you okay” would be the most pointless thing in the world to say, so she doesn’t. but she does look somewhere between tiredness and there’s something a lot like anger underneath all that. ]
[ mm. she tucks her knees up and hugs them to her chest, so she can rest her chin on them. ]
... I don’t really know what to say. Anything I can think of just sounds... empty, in my head. [ presumptuous. like trying to fix a leak with a band aid. she’s not hansa, why would she even pretend to know how he’s feeling? ]
... someone did what they did to Sumire, and that wasn’t enough to—- [ to focus on. to look at what they knew and decide that was the one to devote their time to. ]
[ she stops and takes a deep breath there, calming herself down. ]
...
[ and then she shifts the position of her legs so she can bump her foot lightly against his knee. his left knee, however. she has not forgotten what came up in strip check. ]
... Okay. I’m not trying to bring anything up, so that’s all I’ll say on it.
[ the half chuckle softens her gaze a bit —- relaxing a little of worry around her eyes, just a bit. ]
...
Please don’t punch a dinosaur and hurt yourself next week. [ he did say anything. is he using his right arm? because she’ll tap his hand lightly like she’s punctuating the point... either way honestly. ]
You got mad at me for hurting myself on Monday, this isn’t exactly different. [ she doesn’t like seeing him hurt. and he does stuff like punch a dinosaur in the teeth. she can’t unpick emotional hurt, that just comes with time, but she can worry about the physical things at least. ]
Haha, you don't need to read into it. Even my mentor, he worries...well, he actually worries a lot about anything and everything. But I don't think anyone really, truly thinks that I can be vulnerable, me included.
[He's just used to being in a position where his body will always be strong, stronger than anything, and there's little to no chance of failure. He lets a finger drift up to her knee, holding there, thumb moving in a circle.]
...I don't know. You worry about me like I can be hurt like anyone else. And that isn't a bad thing, not at all. I appreciate it, really.
... Everyone's vulnerable, in some way. Nicholas and Worick act the same way, and I've seen both of them laid out in a medical bed. [ and here, especially? nothing seems to work as she'd expect it to. ]
[ she watches his hand move, but she doesn't move away or react to the touch. after a moment she just moves her own hand to hook her finger on top of his. ]
I just don't want to see you hurt. As much as that's possible here. [ simple, selfish reasons. ]
[He almost wants to say "but were they cyborgs" and just...refrains from that.]
[Hansa faintly smiles, just letting his finger hang there, on hers. A small connection, but it feels good. Just the little things, in this chaotic mess of a competition.]
[ ... She'll explain Twilights to him, someday. Hopefully. ]
[ she's quiet for a moment, but nods. ]
I do too.
I-- [ it doesn't feel or sound like enough, just to say that. ] I... wish I could fix things. Everything about this week. Change them, anything. [ she just looks their fingers, hooked together. ]
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week 3, saturday post trial
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[His mouth creases into a frown.]
...Hey, Alex.
[It feels like a lot just to say even that.]
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... Hey.
[ after a moment she pushes herself up to her feet, and watches as the little t-rex runs over to scramble over then. ]
... [ “are you okay” would be the most pointless thing in the world to say, so she doesn’t. but she does look somewhere between tiredness and there’s something a lot like anger underneath all that. ]
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Do you and your friend want to come in?
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Are you alright with company?
[ ... it feels counter productive to say, because she’s going anyway but she just... wants to check. ]
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[A bittersweet sort of smile as he moves to open the door with his PHS.]
I guess I am. The only alternative is just me stewing in my own feelings for the rest of the night, so.
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she’ll follow him in, once the door’s open. ]
Being alone in your own head can be... not the best thing, no.
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[He just says it so flippantly, like there it is. That's his life.]
[Hansa moves to sit, cross-legged, on the floor.]
...I really wish we have beds, next week.
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... I got so trapped in mine I had auditory and visual hallucinations.
[ so, no. she’s going to be concerned either way. ]
Sorry I’m overcautious about it.
[ she looks around, taking in the lack of another presence or evidence of one in here and then sits herself down as well. ]
As long as it’s not a hammock again I’ll be glad. Although I didn’t mind having a roommate that week, so maybe it balanced out.
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[That's...horrifying.]
Maybe. Leaves aren't that comfortable. Honestly, even if they weren't leaves, I don't think I'm getting any sleep tonight.
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[ mm. she tucks her knees up and hugs them to her chest, so she can rest her chin on them. ]
... I don’t really know what to say. Anything I can think of just sounds... empty, in my head. [ presumptuous. like trying to fix a leak with a band aid. she’s not hansa, why would she even pretend to know how he’s feeling? ]
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[He rests his chin against his hand, letting out a sigh, but he smiles over at Alex, lightly.]
I really do appreciate your company, though. I don't need words if I have that.
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[ she stops and takes a deep breath there, calming herself down. ]
...
[ and then she shifts the position of her legs so she can bump her foot lightly against his knee. his left knee, however. she has not forgotten what came up in strip check. ]
... Okay. I’m not trying to bring anything up, so that’s all I’ll say on it.
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[He glances down at her bumping her foot against his knee, and lets out a sound that almost sounds like the beginning of a chuckle.]
Not a problem, Alex. Talk about whatever you'd like. [And he reaches out to touch the side of her leg.] I don't mind.
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[ it’s echoed. tiredly. ]
[ the half chuckle softens her gaze a bit —- relaxing a little of worry around her eyes, just a bit. ]
...
Please don’t punch a dinosaur and hurt yourself next week. [ he did say anything. is he using his right arm? because she’ll tap his hand lightly like she’s punctuating the point... either way honestly. ]
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[His smile twitches at the touch to his hand...yeah. He's not as indestructible as ht thinks he is.]
Does it really worry you, that much?
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[ hansa, pls ] Just because they’re not skin and bone doesn’t mean they can’t be damaged.
[ .... she taps her finger against his hand again. ] And while I don’t think I’ve asked, you can still feel things with them, can’t you?
GO TO SLEEP, BECKS
[He says that with a smile, closing his eye.]
And I can. I mean...the sensors are there. And now in those places I got hurt, they're a little cross with me. But its okay.
I DID I SLEPT
Why wouldn’t I?
[ she frowns slightly. ]
You got mad at me for hurting myself on Monday, this isn’t exactly different. [ she doesn’t like seeing him hurt. and he does stuff like punch a dinosaur in the teeth. she can’t unpick emotional hurt, that just comes with time, but she can worry about the physical things at least. ]
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[He's just used to being in a position where his body will always be strong, stronger than anything, and there's little to no chance of failure. He lets a finger drift up to her knee, holding there, thumb moving in a circle.]
...I don't know. You worry about me like I can be hurt like anyone else. And that isn't a bad thing, not at all. I appreciate it, really.
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[ she watches his hand move, but she doesn't move away or react to the touch. after a moment she just moves her own hand to hook her finger on top of his. ]
I just don't want to see you hurt. As much as that's possible here. [ simple, selfish reasons. ]
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[Hansa faintly smiles, just letting his finger hang there, on hers. A small connection, but it feels good. Just the little things, in this chaotic mess of a competition.]
...I really...deeply care about you, you know.
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[ she's quiet for a moment, but nods. ]
I do too.
I-- [ it doesn't feel or sound like enough, just to say that. ] I... wish I could fix things. Everything about this week. Change them, anything. [ she just looks their fingers, hooked together. ]
But this is all I can do.
[ it never feels like enough. ]