[So here it is. He has to let out a low exhale, gather his thoughts, and try not to be distracted by her hand tucking his hair behind an ear.]
I think you are aware that I'm...fond of Emet-Selch. We spent ten years in that place, with a child who we raised, and I would be lying to say that he doesn't bring me comfort. But returning here and seeing you...I knew that I didn't want to turn my back on you.
[She was too important like that. He wouldn't be so cruel to just throw her away, when his feelings were so real. even if ten years had passed.]
I found out that Archer, who I think of as a very good friend, also had feelings for Emet-Selch, and vice-versa. And earlier today, the man himself sat Archer and I down. And I provided them an ultimatum. I told them that there was no way I would abandon you, no matter my feelings over those ten years. You were someone I have cared about for a long time and I want to keep safe. I, of course, expected that they'd just let that be, but...
[And a pause.]
They accepted that completely. They wanted me, but they were more than happy to have you too. I know Archer is more than fond of you. And...of course, it all comes down to you. Nobody expects you to have the same relationship with either of them that I have with you. You could even ignore them or treat them as friends, if you wanted. But the fact is, we truly want you to be happy. I want you to be happy.
[And a nod. Its a lot to ask at once, but...its important. They're all important to him. Especially Alex.]
I just wanted to know if you would be happy with...us all being together, with you.
[ wow of all the things to follow up a heartfelt confession and a kiss with, hansa. she looks a little surprised for a moment-- proper wide eyed, and blinking. ]
...
[ and then she tilts her head. ]
... I already figured that whatever happened, if you did feel the same way, I'd be sharing you to some extent with Emet-Selch. [ you can't erase ten years, not from a person's life or experiences, even if you can remove them physically. there are things that will be shared in that time that she can't begin to understand or feel. and those things have shaped and changed relationships in ways no one could really have seen coming.
especially after this weekend, and how badly almost losing him had hurt hansa. that knowledge, that weight had settled on her then and... well. she'd felt relieved that emet-selch hadn't been removed, due to what it would do it hansa. twenty-four hours might not be enough to full come to terms with that and see where she is with the idea, but... it was already there. that part does not surprise her. ]
Chiron, well... [ the horse, as always, is a surprise. ] I already knew about his feelings for Emet-Selch. That part... doesn't surprise me. [ the surprise is more... all three of them? all four of them? that's the part that is a lot to wrap her head around. but there's the insistence that... she doesn't have to push to form relatonships that don't work for her, or do anything that she doesn't want to do...
[He's pleased, of course, that the offer isn't rejected outright, but he hardly wants to make her feel like she's pushed into this with no way out. It's all up to her. Whatever she says, goes. In the end, if she decided to cut it all down, and leave, he'd just follow.]
[He leans into that hand, his own sliding gently around to the back of her neck.]
[ she nods, the hand at the back of her neck like an anchor. like always. her mind wants to rush at high speed -- what happens if it doesn't work? what happens if it isn't okay? but then there's that contact and it steadies her again. slows her down.
like always really. when isn't she relying on him, in ways she didn't even realise?
...
"I'm really, sincerely, deeply in love with you."
... ]
No pressure.
[ maybe a little, but ... less than she would have thought. her thumb keeps brushing against hansa's cheek, just as soothing for her as it seems to be for him. ]
... I saw what this weekend could've done to you. I don't want that to happen again.
So... [ it's a sincere request. one that clearly meant a lot to hansa, from the nerves he had and the weight when he asked her. ]
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no subject
[So here it is. He has to let out a low exhale, gather his thoughts, and try not to be distracted by her hand tucking his hair behind an ear.]
I think you are aware that I'm...fond of Emet-Selch. We spent ten years in that place, with a child who we raised, and I would be lying to say that he doesn't bring me comfort. But returning here and seeing you...I knew that I didn't want to turn my back on you.
[She was too important like that. He wouldn't be so cruel to just throw her away, when his feelings were so real. even if ten years had passed.]
I found out that Archer, who I think of as a very good friend, also had feelings for Emet-Selch, and vice-versa. And earlier today, the man himself sat Archer and I down. And I provided them an ultimatum. I told them that there was no way I would abandon you, no matter my feelings over those ten years. You were someone I have cared about for a long time and I want to keep safe. I, of course, expected that they'd just let that be, but...
[And a pause.]
They accepted that completely. They wanted me, but they were more than happy to have you too. I know Archer is more than fond of you. And...of course, it all comes down to you. Nobody expects you to have the same relationship with either of them that I have with you. You could even ignore them or treat them as friends, if you wanted. But the fact is, we truly want you to be happy. I want you to be happy.
[And a nod. Its a lot to ask at once, but...its important. They're all important to him. Especially Alex.]
I just wanted to know if you would be happy with...us all being together, with you.
no subject
...
[ and then she tilts her head. ]
... I already figured that whatever happened, if you did feel the same way, I'd be sharing you to some extent with Emet-Selch. [ you can't erase ten years, not from a person's life or experiences, even if you can remove them physically. there are things that will be shared in that time that she can't begin to understand or feel. and those things have shaped and changed relationships in ways no one could really have seen coming.
especially after this weekend, and how badly almost losing him had hurt hansa. that knowledge, that weight had settled on her then and... well. she'd felt relieved that emet-selch hadn't been removed, due to what it would do it hansa. twenty-four hours might not be enough to full come to terms with that and see where she is with the idea, but... it was already there. that part does not surprise her. ]
Chiron, well... [ the horse, as always, is a surprise. ] I already knew about his feelings for Emet-Selch. That part... doesn't surprise me. [ the surprise is more... all three of them? all four of them? that's the part that is a lot to wrap her head around. but there's the insistence that... she doesn't have to push to form relatonships that don't work for her, or do anything that she doesn't want to do...
that's something, at least. ]
...
[ she strokes her thumb across hansa's cheek. ]
I want to talk to them first. Please.
no subject
[He's pleased, of course, that the offer isn't rejected outright, but he hardly wants to make her feel like she's pushed into this with no way out. It's all up to her. Whatever she says, goes. In the end, if she decided to cut it all down, and leave, he'd just follow.]
[He leans into that hand, his own sliding gently around to the back of her neck.]
Its your decision, in the end.
no subject
like always really. when isn't she relying on him, in ways she didn't even realise?
...
"I'm really, sincerely, deeply in love with you."
... ]
No pressure.
[ maybe a little, but ... less than she would have thought. her thumb keeps brushing against hansa's cheek, just as soothing for her as it seems to be for him. ]
... I saw what this weekend could've done to you. I don't want that to happen again.
So... [ it's a sincere request. one that clearly meant a lot to hansa, from the nerves he had and the weight when he asked her. ]
I'll take this seriously.